For most of us, involuntary bodily actions like hiccups, coughs, and sneezes are quickly forgotten or in the case of vomiting, retold endlessly once the hangover Wholesale Team Jerseys Store - NFL/NBA/NHL/MLB/NCAA/Soccer fades. But while puking out of an open car window is a hilarious story, vomiting for three uninterrupted hours is probably cause to call 911. The same is true of sweating. If you sweat so much that you have a Dwayne Johnson amount of sheen on you for weeks on end, life gets complicated. And wet.
We talked to Randy, who has hyperhidrosis (uncontrollable sweating) about what it's like to be sweating so much that it feels like the effects of a rejected Willy Wonka punishment candy. He told us .
I have hyperhidrosis, which means I'm almost always sweating on select parts of my body. For most of my life, this meant my face, feet, and hands aka all of the body parts people are most likely to see or touch in daily life. The impact of hyperhidrosis on my social life has been less like a Farrelly brothers movie and more like an angry wizard's curse. Imagine your hands being perpetually wet, so people always assume you've just gotten out of the bathroom.
My life is like a slapstick comedy with none of the mirth and a shitload of judgment. I can't open many doorknobs because of how soaked my hands are. In college, I took to carrying around one of these rubber jar openers .
And what better way to impress the sorority girls?so I could open the door to my dorm room. I have to wear black clothes; I can't wear whites or lights unless I want everyone to see my sweat stains. And forget about ever taking off my socks, or even sometimes my shoes, because I'd leave wet footprints everywhere and wind up slipping in my own sweat. I've pissed off dozens of people throughout my entire life because I've either refused to shake hands or visibly wiped my hand first. I usually try to play this off as a Monk ish thing ("Sorry, I'm a little afraid of germs"), but then people judge me on that. It's even worse with anything having to do with writing. I handed in more than a few college exams that were so wet they were starting to roll up.
My brother also has hyperhidrosis. He went into game design, but cannot play video games on PlayStation or Nintendo or Xbox. The controller slips out of his hand. His hands are even worse than mine. I can wipe them off and play for a while, but even if he does that, his hands constantly mess him up. He's vowed to only make PC games because he's built up so much hate for controllers.
For me, the real problem is drinking out of cups and bottles. It doesn't matter if they're glass or plastic; I'll sweat enough that they slide out of my grip. My brother would grow out his fingernails a little and use them for extra support. But I never got the hang of that, so I was always the guy at parties awkwardly drinking from cups with one hand underneath. Someone always commented on it. Sweat is gross, it makes you smell bad, and sweating without exertion universally means you're nervous, sick, or under the influence of something. So no, it's not as simple as introducing myself to everyone with, "Don't mind the sweat, it's a medical condition!" We've all been raised on deodorant commercials telling us that sweat is something to be deeply ashamed of, regardless of why it's happening. It's never a compliment when books describe somebody as "clammy" or "greasy."Try telling a cop "I'm not nervous, it's genetic!" without magically summoning the drug dogs.
So I would always rather say nothing and hope my sweating wouldn't flare up than try to get out in front of it with an explanation. The sweating isn't my fault, but it's kind of like if you get diarrhea on a first date. cheap nike dallas cowboys jerseys You're not going to be too eager to talk about it. In fact, "sweating like an anime character" is so embarrassing to most of us that the condition has been linked directly to social anxiety disorder, and two thirds of all sufferers don't even report it to doctors.
My encounters with this go back to early childhood. When I was in Little League, we had a rule against wearing batting gloves, but I got an exemption after the bat slipped out of my hands. In fact, I was told I should wear them while fielding as well, since it helped me grip the ball. But dating is where it really ramped up to "wizard curse" levels of awful. No matter how much deodorant I put on, I'd still smell like sweat at some point in any date lasting more than a few hours. I had dates that would start out well, but after she noticed the smell, or that my sweat was starting to stain the tablecloth, it would be over.
It also harmed my career opportunities. There was one interview I had for an internship at an engineering firm that I bombed because of my sweating. My hand was dripping wet and they sprung a handshake on me. I couldn't wipe, so I shook. Before the handshake, he'd called his secretary up to bring me an ID badge to sign. But once we shook, his expression changed immediately. The audible "squish" sound did not help. As I left, I saw him dry his hands off with a golf towel and reach for the phone. When I got up to the secretary's desk, she was already on the phone . and staring at me. After a moment, she said, "You can't sign the forms today. We still have other candidates" in the friendliest voice she could muster. I didn't get the internship."Go ahead and keep the pen. And the clipboard."
The good news about hyperhidrosis is that you're only ridiculously sweaty NFL Jerseys Cheap and Authentic Online most of the time, not all the time. You do get breaks. For me, those are glorious times, during which I make sure to do everything that would otherwise be hindered by sweat. For example, I used to write out bunches of checks during my sweat less times and leave the dollar amount empty. I'd also read heavily, so as not to warp my books (now I have an e reader). Today, I use those sweat free intervals as an excuse to wear white the most decadent joy of all."At last, I can juggle knives without a care in the world!"